Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Oh, Myrtle Beach...

I thought it was a great idea to take a summer family vacation. (Notice how I said "I thought.")
After driving to Fort Myers in March, I feel like I can drive anywhere with these kids. I have even applied for all of us to have passports, like we would actually take the kids to another country soon. Well......
after checking out numerous condos, beach houses and resorts, we decided it would be more fun to be at a resort where the kids can play with other kids and Joey and I could get a few drinks at the poolside bar. We stumbled across a resort called Long Bay Resort where they had about 20 water attractions, a beach, a Starbucks, a tiki bar and an available 3 bedroom condo for us. Perfect!! So I thought.
We left at 8pm in the evening and drove all night. I did not anticipate how scared I was going to be driving through the Smokey Mountains in the middle of the night. Those hours were supposed to be when I was getting some shut eye, however, I slept with one eye open. We rolled up to Myrtle beach at about 8am and that's when Big Joey told me that we couldn't check in till 3pm (he still will argue with me that wasn't the case). We decided we would swim all day sans nap and make the best of it. I wasn't getting a good feeling about the resort once I saw the first baby pool. I went to the bathroom and after seeing what that looked like I decided we couldn't stay there for the week. It was disgusting!!! After talking to Joey we threw the kids back in the car and started driving up and down the strip calling every hotel that looked descent. NO VACANCIES ANYWHERE!!!! The boys were so upset they weren't at the resort swimming, so I googled a few places for Joey and Lou to look at while I took the boys putt putting... twice. Wait.... as I was googling resorts, I noticed all of the freaking resorts had the same exact happy family and exact same pictures of the water attractions. This couldn't be real. It was a nightmare. I was in the twilight zone.
Well we had to find a place to stay. A few hours later Joey picked us up from the creepiest putt putting place to let me know we had a hotel room with ONE ROOM!!! BAHAHA! He had to be kidding. I have never slept with any of my kids, my kids have never slept in the same room, and we have so much crap that would definitely not fit into a one room hotel room. It seemed like our only option other than driving to another city and the kids were having nervous breakdowns because we weren't swimming yet... and it was 100 degrees. Luckily we got a full refund on our first POS room, otherwise I may go "West Virginia back country" on someone.
Kids were pumped. We got to the resort and there were several slides, lazy rivers, pool,  kiddie attractions, a beach and more kiddos to play with... and Mama had a drink in her hand. We were going to be fine. It was only noon though, so we had to change in our car where there was zero room and sunscreened up in the parking lot. There is something so very special about Myrtle Beach that made me feel comfortable about having nude kids in the parking lot and a Mama in a bathing suit with Toms.
5 kiddie pools, ok. One was closed off already from a kid dropping a deuce in it. I'm trying to teach Ray that today and today only he could pee in the pool. He didn't quite approve of this and couldn't really grasp why I couldn't take him to the bathroom. It was a good 10 minute walk to the bathroom and you needed your room key to get through several doors to get there and we still didn't have ours. So, today and today only he could pee in the pool. BUT he decided to poop!!! And he was so proud that he came running through people to tell me. Awesome, and disgusting. Oh, but wait. It wasn't but 10 minutes later that Louisa decided to mark her territory too.... in a different pool. Now, only two pools clean. Thankfully I have the best husband in the entire world and he took both kids back to the car to clean them up in the 100 degree heat. Ughhh..... disgusting!!

We get our hotel room. Ahhhh, finally. By 7:00, Joey and I are losing it. It had been 36 hours since we had slept and we were all going to sleep in the same room. Lou was going bazirk... sleeping in the car the night before and no nap the next day made her a wee bit off of her normal routine. We decided to set up the pack n play in the bathroom and put her to bed asap. But wait.... where would we pee?? Oh have no worries, the super laid-back, not tired, not pulling her hair out, not drunk Mama made us all pee in a pot for the rest of the evening. Bahhaha!!! Whatever it takes. Trust me, one day you either were there or you will be there.

God was definitely looking out for our marriage though. We all slept great, ate a great breakfast and found out we were going to have a 3 bedroom condo in the resort in a few short hours.

The rest of the week was fun. The boys loved sharing a room for the first time, and loved watching the waves every morning and every evening.

Although it rained at least once a day and the resort wasn't  ideal, the beverages were nice and the company was perfect.

I beg to go on vacations just the 5 of us. As hard as it is, it totally recharges my battery and brings us closer. There won't be a day in the future I turn down a vacation. Thank God I have those passports.

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