Ladies and Gentlemen, We Introduce to you, Mr. Joseph Vincent Matis!!!

Good morning,


Mommy and Daddy were telling me today about this whole computer and internet thing that apparenntly everyone in the world uses, and I gotta tell ya, I am impressed. It seems that the world outside of my mommy's belly is a pretty cool place. I've already been around most of the city, and it looks like a wonderful place to live. Neat hospitals, nice restaurants, Daddy drives a pretty sweet car and my new house is well kept. Mommy really enjoyed decorating the house with plush frieze carpet and vintage athletic photos. She has really good taste.


By the way, check out that pic of me down there. Yes, I know...I am extremely good looking for a 4 day old, aren't I?




Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to give you my whole life story. Shouldn't take too long, haven't been around forever like my parents. So, here goes...


I was born on a Tuesday night. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. One of my first memories when I was a little kid was that I had a splitting headache! I guess that will happen to you when some guy in a white coat they called Doc Star stuck this suction cup thing on my head while I was still inside mommy and yanked me out. What the hell was that all about!?!?! Anyway, I guess it helped out mommy cuz she was pushing and trying to get me out for 3 hours! So, I came out and daddy took this sharp knife thing and cut the jump rope that was connected to my belly while I was inside mommy. I thought that would hurt like crazy, but it wasn't bad.


After that, all these pretty ladies grabbed me and cleaned me off, weighed me, measured me and made sure that I was fine. I remember hearing one of the ladies say that I was a big kid, weighing 8 pounds and 5 ounces. The other lady looked at my daddy and smiled and said proudly, "Your son is DEFINITELY a boy." I think that means that I have pretty big parts down below...Daddy was proud.



Not too long after that, I met my mommy and daddy and I gotta tell ya, great people they are! I also met my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousin and a whole lotta other family. Sorry, I can't remember all of their names right now. There was so many and I was only 2 hours old...what do you expect!


That night though was the scariest night of my life (it was the only night of my life, but still scary). This doctor lady kept running some tests on me and kept saying that I had some respitory distress and that my white blood cell count was high we could mean that I had an infection! All I knew was that I was breathing really short breaths and they wanted me to take bigger breaths. But, they woke up my mommy and daddy at four in the morning and told them that I had to be admitted into the NICU and that I might have and infection like menengitis! I wasn't there, but I heard they were so scared and sad for me.



So, I had to hang out downstairs in the NICU while mommy and daddy were upstairs in their room. They came down and visited me all the time though, which was real nice. I was all alone in my room when they weren't there, so I was always happy to see them. Plus, mommy always lets me snack on her chest, which is always fun! The worst part though was that I had to be hooked up to a bunch of wires that told the nurses and doctors my heart rate and breaths and stuff. But, I guess everything ended up being fine. The doctor told my parents that I did not have an infection and that I was breathing like a normal newborn now! We had a big party in my room and celebrated the fact that I got to go home!


Mommy and Daddy went upstairs to pack things up, I got my pictures taken and then we were off! I love riding in the car! Then when we got home, I got a quick tour of my new digs and ever since then I have been doing nothing but eating, sleeping and pooping...what a great life!


Mommy and Daddy keep telling me about their great friends and family, so if you want to stop by and say I, I'd love to hang out with you. Just give us a phone call and let us know that you wanna come by...I think mommy wants to be sure the house is picked up if we're gonna have visitors (I told her they don't care, but she's crazy like that...I love her anyway!)


Until next time...peace out!


Love,

JVM